I heard a giggle. Who are you? I asked after the tingling of the sound in my ear.
Me, the voice chuckled again, I am the one in your lap. You can’t see me. You can’t recognize the one who sweat your thighs everyday by the warmth of her body. You are betraying me by asking that you stupid. Hey how can you do that to me? Huh!
I was I really was shocked. I was unable to spot anyone around me but can hear the chuckling of the voice clearly as nobody was around me. I decided to spot the direction of the voice by continuing the conversation. I asked, “Can you please elaborate what are you trying to say in case of your introduction”? I am the one giving you warm massage daily all over you naked thighs, giving gentle press to your fingers. I am the one whom you stare without any blink for hours every day. I am your full time entertaining love my darling.
I was going bit crazy with counter attack of the blames. It was hard to figure out the auditor and my oral-meters were unable to spot the direction of the sound. It seemed it was hovering all around me. It seemed it was coming from my inside. However, the voice continued. Still not able to recognize me! Love, how can you do this to me? There was a tremble in the voice this time. You have spent so many days with me. We have so many day outs and night outs together. We have many crazier moments, many fun moments. We have made your bed scramble all over when you were with me in night. You have used me over nights. You have pressed my externals tightly some times on right some times on left one which have always changed my status, have scrolled your finger over it. whenever I was too warm by your use then you have released me from your catch to let me cool down. And why now? Please don’t do this to me.
With a where-are-you-my-unknown-love gesture, I was following all the directions around me. Trying to spot some one behind the chair, the T.V., the wooden bookcase by bending my back backwards, was leaning forward and by every possible movements of my body. Than it seemed that I was day dreaming and I really was. However, I want have a look at the beauty of my dream, the one who was just so much in me.
The voice became more like crying after my facial gesture. It continued I know each and every thing about your family. Don’t you have two sisters and a younger brother? Didn’t you go to UK and again going this September? And you are taking me with you. Aren’t you? (I had no answer as I was not in position to afford any other passport and visa cost.) Moreover, with a jealousy in her sound she said don’t you had crushes in past. See I know everything. I know you and your privates. Don’t you have a black spot on the inner part of your right arm? Don’t you have a cut mark on the left shoulder given by your sister in mistake? I know about the story you are writing and who the real characters of your half imaginary are.
All over it seemed that the voice knew me from my toe to hair tip. Now I was being intolerant. I want to have look of the character behind the voice. I asked, no I almost begged the voice to come out of the hide, to calm down mine eagerness by giving at least a look of her face.
The voice started to laugh on my situation. In addition to her she said, I am in your front my dumb ass darling. I am the one closest to you. I am your lappy (laptop).
Whatever the voice told was very true. And the voice left with nothing then an ear to ear grin.
“Bhaiya pani milega”? (Brother can I have some water?) A street beggar in Delhi asked to my brother when he was locking the door. Of course, he replied and came upstairs to fetch a bottle of water from the kitchen. He went down with a 600ml. sprite bottle filled with earthen pot’s water and asked the beggar to have water.
I was stunned at the look and words by the beggar whom I was listening from the balcony. He said, “Don’t you have fridge water”? With a what-the-hell-look my brother told him we don’t have a fridge. With a grin on his face he drank a bit of water to uproot the thirst of him and let my brother know that he actually missed to take his fridge water from home today and that’s why he was suffering.
I went back to my life history and this was not the first time I was shocked by the beggars’ behavior. Once a beggar crawling on his knees with his one sleeve falling apart as he seemed to be one-handed person was begging in the train. His half leg blackens with mud and dust was enough to send viewers for pitiful sighs. In addition his demand for money for his ill son send onlooker hand to their purse and pocket to give him some coins which was adding up to large amount. He also told it was his home station and he won’t go further. While he have kept the collection in his bag falling apart form his neck the train hooted which was a signal that it is will start crawling and will soon leave the station with speed. Till the beggar reached the door the train has started crawling and it was a bit fast. We thought the beggar won’t be able to get down on this station. Surprisingly he was waiting for the train speed up. As soon as the train was on his desirable speed, he stand upon his healthy legs with a firm hold on the door bar of the train and ran down on the platform leaving all of us stunned.
I have seen them chewing tobacco and eating in a little expensive restaurants. So I never believe a beggar, even on them who may be in real need.
Beggary has become a profession now days. They have different way to peruse to the public. Some of them carrying card with a note of a family and relative’s tragedy, parent’s illness demanding a minimum amount of 5-10 Rs since 2 or more years. Some of them carry a starved baby in her lap asking for money to feed him/her, no matter after that the starved baby gets anything or not. Some of them are handicapped from hand or leg or eyes or with all of them, some of them are suffering from leprosy. However, what they all end up to is money from your pocket. Believe it or not many of them have Bank balance more than you. My neighboring village has beggar who is begging since he was 15. He is blind and was poor at that stage. With his profession of begging he enhanced his economic status and became social by marring and having four kids. He gave his sons a proper education as they are in working profession. He bought tractor for his youngest son and sent his daughter to a middle family after marriage. But his daily routine was the same, catching the first train, and back by last one after singing all day in train for some money. Many of the villagers have told him to stop that but he says he can’t as he is addicted with it.
This is the extreme of all the professions we have around us and many of our country man are engulfed in this profession, are addicted to it. We are the supporters who are giving them money after listening them. If you ask one of them to work as a servant at your home they won’t be seen in that area again and will continue to the profession. So what do you think…. ;P
Have you ever walked putting steps one in every tile wangled on the footpath? Have you ever sat on a gravelled place trying to hit a big gravel bit further again and again? Have you ever pointed hard on your notebook with your pen or compass to see how many pages you can see the points on and next time again do it harder that have your extra effort have left some extra marks or not?
These are some of the things usually we have tried when we were young and some time even when we are youth enough to not to do such nonsense activities. But why we do so? Why we are so keen to know that can we do this? I have also done the same. I have run faster more than my possibilities to hit the target I decided before a bike or a car honking behind me passes away me. I have the broken pen in pricing my notebooks. I have sliced my finger on onions’ place to compete the school cook. Adding to them I have done a lot of more funny stuff. What was the conclusion after I succeed or I was left far away from myself made target? First if I have succeeded I have increased the target range for the next time. And if I lost I have tried harder next time to achieve it. Next time I was more careful that I do step in the cuts of the tile and pass through the targeted tile finally. And If I finished I have tried next time on even smaller tiles.
This is not only me; believe it is same with most of us. Don’t we?
So here is the point if we are so desperate to achieve the goal even though they are funny and tried again in case we have failed harder next time, that why not in real life condition? After having some failures why we start to think that it is not possible?
The every competition I am in is the tile I have to step in. I have to walk through every one of them and if I did fail and step on the cuts, I will go back and walk again till I achieve it. I hope you will do the same.
“Have some sweets”, my school barber offered me. Taking a bite of the Barfi, with a question I winked at him, for what? Did you become Grandfather and we uncles? He gave an ear to ear grin and told no, I had got a government job as a teacher. What!!! A fake smile appeared on my face. For sure I was happy for him. I congratulated him and prayed for the kids’ future he was going to teach. I thought I have seen him from last 5 years and many of our seniors had did the same. He was in profession of barber from more than last 20 to 25 years. What he will teach? He got the job because some 20 year ago he had received a teacher training after his matriculation.
This was not the only case. The new policy of hiring teachers in Bihar has brought up many teachers from such background and even worst background. How much this is going to success. How much it is going to bring our society up?
How did the selection worked. The applicants have to submit their marks at Intermediate level, graduation level and any other certificates like teacher training etc. The applicants are shorted on the base of their qualification and mark percentage. Then all the ones having teacher training will get the place it doesn’t matter it was taken 2-3 years ago or 15-20 years ago. Then the candidates having higher percentage will get the chance. I am sorry if I offend anyone but many of the candidates from different organizations, madarsas were able to get certificates showing a percentage up to 92% and more. For sure the base of selection had to give them a chance. It didn’t matter how much they know. I had seen some teachers having troubles in simple calculations.
Just think! These teachers have to teach our country future builders. What they will teach? How can we think that we can compare to states like Kerala with more than 90% literacy rates and Punjab with less than 12% population under poverty level? Go and meet up students of class 6-7 and ask them to do division. More than half of them will get stuck. How can we expect them to do L.C.M and H.C.F.? Most of them won’t be able to translate, “Saal main 12 mahine hote hain” which is very simple. If they can’t even say that there are twelve months in a year, how can they stand as future of the country? Not only the students the same condition can be seen within the teacher groups also.
They are not the cause of this fault. They were given a chance to get out of their poverty and they did. Who thought of such selection process? Had it ever had any direction of going right? I don’t think so. If it had to be done it can be done after small selection examinations which can at least approve the knowledge level of the candidate. If revenue was the problem they can put an affordable fee of 25, 50 or 100Rs. on it, and I am sure nobody would have minded. Even the applicants have justified themselves before applying that are they eligible for the test or not. Then selection would have been fair for both the applicants as well as the students they are going to teach.
If the government thinks that by providing jobs they are trying to reduce poverty then as I think they are going to increase it by bringing a lot of villager which will be nowhere in this competitive world. May be what I think is wrong as out there our Govt. is surrounded by many economist, scholars and well educated counselors but as public views I think I will get support.
So a kind and humble request is for the leaders that have a pity on the country’s future and make decisions after thinking about its long term effect.
“It is never going to change Or will take more than 200 years to come at that point when we can see something like this.” A man interrupted in our conversation. I looked up with what-the- hell-are-you saying look.
I was coming back from Asansol to Delhi. To reduce the boredom of the late journey we, my front seat holder and me, were talking. As he was far senior to me he also asked about my academics. I told him about my stay in UK during my study period. He asked so many questions about my stay there. He made the discussion more social and asked me about the society there and the difference between our and their society. A hard work! To compare two different societies because every society is maintained according to the environment of the place, Country and people who stay there. He added a question mark which somehow reduce my pressure, are we behind them in any issue and if I can cause it?
I explained mine experience during my two year stay. I told them we have a great range of culture in which we are ahead them. Just one part is managed and we can see us very near to top. For sure gave a questioning gaze, “what”? “Self responsibility among public” I added. Here we are lacking. I supported my view with some examples. Like, they use dustbin for garbage and have no hesitation carrying their waste till they see a dustbin. Here we use lanes, outer area of dustbin, even dustbin remains empty and sometimes our neighbor doors front if they are out of site. They use patience while they are queued to get the traffic light turn green, we use pushing in till it make the traffic heavier with useless HONKS. And those are we which need to maintain our self on these social issues. His looks and nodding were supporting me.
BUT here we have the interruption.
He continued after having a look at the way I looked without caring and with confidence, “today we are getting westernize. We are adopting their culture and leaving ours which we say still say we are proud about. Our mentality supported by poverty, population effect precede us towards thought that if others are not doing why should I care”. It was true at some point. His words were proving that he is not different from others. He further supported his view, “if I am doing something and other ten are not doing so then no change can be seen and even I won’t get any praise”.
Do we do everything that we can get back something back, if not in money or something for our self at least the word of praising? Why can’t we think that our one work may not show the change but it may affect other two out of hundreds to think the same way? In addition, what we should think about is the satisfaction, the praise coming from our inside for our work. That counts a lot.
“Don’t always be the DRONE, Be some times wolf that starts to howl and makes others to do so”, I said when he finished. He went silent and same I was. I was thinking are we really going to change or we are going to stay with thought, “What Can I Do?”
We were packed under the roof praying to have some shower which will drive away the extreme summer effect. To save myself from the effect of sun despite I knew that it is not going to make a big difference; I even ran through 5m distance towards the roof shed from the tube well.
Wow! Is that a big bunch of clouds surrounding the whole area! Within minutes the extremely painful summer weather changed to a stormy one. But still the later one was gave us a relief sigh because the next part we can imagine was rain, not only drizzle but Cats and Dogs.
With a strike we started to manage the items of our mud house to save them from getting dump in case of rain. We heard thunders and wheezing sound of Storm producing other sounds in the environment.
At last! We were going to have rain and soon enough we saw big drops of water including a bit of hail was watering the dry earth.
FLASH! What was that? Is someone shooting with well developed camera? No. it was far way stronger. A great Arrow shaped lightening dazzled our eyes and seemed to crack the ground with extremely loud thunder following it.
Alas! The lightening flash which has lightened the area for a time even lesser that the blink of eyes brought darkness for life long for a family. Actually it fell upon a boy eating mango in a mango grove. His half body was burnt up and seemed as somehow boiled and mashed potato. May god give peace to the soul!!!
Was this the payment god took for giving a few hours relief from the sun. I think it was far way expensive cost and no one is likely to pay such cost But as these things are also such we cannot predict before.